The Case of the Staggering Moron: Meanwhile in Australia

by O Society Jan 29, 2019

Ahem. In general, as a principle, it is best to ignore trolls.

Case in point. Donald J. Trump is a troll. Best to ignore a troll. Don’t feed them and they go away. Eventually. This too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

See Exhibit D (D is for Dotard) here, in which the Staggering Moron claims -60°F means something significant:

 

“Coldest ever recorded temperatures. Please, oh please, Global Warming, won’t you come back?!?” said the troll.

First of all, even the Staggering Moron is not this stupid. No. He isn’t.

How do we know even DJT is not this stupid? Because when it affects DJT personally, Donald Trump “believes in” Global Warming just like everybody else does.

See Exhibit T (T is for Truth) here:

Trump calls global warming a hoax, and also warns of its dire effects in his company’s application to build a sea wall around his golf course.

“It’s diabolical,” said former South Carolina Republican Rep. Bob Inglis, an advocate of conservative solutions to climate change. “Donald Trump is working to ensure his at-risk properties and his company is trying to figure out how to deal with sea level rise. Meanwhile, he’s saying things to audiences he must know are not true. … You have a soft place in your heart for people who are honestly ignorant, but people who are deceitful, that’s a different thing.”

So what is going on here? Trump is playing a role. Not unlike a sit-com on TV. Class clown. Dotard in the back row. Staggering moron. You’ve seen the show. We all have.

That’s because this TV Trope is called “Obfuscating Stupidity.”

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Here’s an example: Remember Cooter, from Dukes of Hazzard? The mechanic guy…

He’s Bo and Luke’s cousin. Or something. Anyway, the important thing to know is Cooter is what we call here an archetype, “I’m just a dumb ole country boy” character.

What does that mean?

Well… you see here, the big city slicker jackass full of himself guy is driving his fancy car, when it just so happens, the car breaks down. In Hazzard County. Georgia.

Now, there ain’t no fancy car people in Hazzard what knows how to really work on your Alpha Romeo & Juliet. See?

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This one ^ here ^ is called a Spider.

So you get Cooter.

Now, Cooter knows shit from shinola, but he ain’t going to let on that he does. He’s going to be your mechanic, but he’s also doing his “I’m just a dumb ole country boy” act, because you – the Big City slicker – don’t know Cooter does know shit from shinola.

See?

Now, Cooter’s got you at a great disadvantage here, mainly because you are stuck in the middle of bumfucking Hazzard Co. here, and you don’t want to leave your Spider-Car here, do ya?

No. You want to drive it the hell out of bumfucking Hazzard. See?

Do I need to spell it out for you what’s going to happen? To you? To your car? To your bank account?

You know by playing dumb, Cooter gets to max out the city slicker’s credit card, right?

Mmmmhhmmm. That’s how TV works. And real life sometimes too.

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Back to Donald the Dotard. Does the Dotard’s fan club know he’s playing the dumb ole country boy?

Yes. Most of them have seen that episode.

So when you go messing with Trump and his Tar Baby, they just laugh and laugh. Don’t they? You got trolled. Nobody’s too stupid to get the joke, but plenty of y’all are too “smart” to get it, aren’t ya?

See, the thing is, right now this very minute, on the other side of the earth directly opposite of Hazzard County, is a place called Australia. And in Australia right now, it’s hotter than Daisy Duke walking in them high heels on Georgia asphalt. Lookey here:

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Australia swelters in record temperatures with warmest ever night

It might be colder than Mars minus 60° Fahrenheit in Chicago at the time ole General Trump tweeted his twitter twatter, but at that very same time, why I’ll be an uncle’s monkey, it’s 120°F in Australia!

That’s global warming, folks! It’s the hottest on record where it is summer now, in the Southern hemisphere, which is the exact opposite place of where ole dumbass country boy General Trump is ah currently residing at the Boar’s Nest, in the Northern Hemisphere. Or thereabouts.

And no, I am not going to get out a globe and show antipodes and axial tilt and so on with the flashlight like we did in 5th grade. That’s what the troll wants you to do.

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And no, I am not going to show you how to convert 50°C to 120°F because you’re too lazy to do it yourself. That’s what the troll wants you to do.

See, the troll lowers the level of conversation to the lowest common denominator. That’s how he wins. Instead of moving to the crisis – which is how the hell do we fix this climate issue, given it is an intrinsic result of capitalism and the “free market,” and what are we going to do right this very second to keep from genociding ourselves – instead of doing the adult thing, addressing the issue with action, what we do is waste time, decades, on bullshit.

Like the notion snowstorms in Chicago in January exonerate sociopaths from their responsibility and culpability in ruining the word for sake of their own limitless hedonism. We’ve wasted decades on this scam. Actually, we’ve wasted Donald Trump’s entire lifetime on this scam.

You are not stupid. Yes, Donald Trump is stupid. But even he is not this stupid.

Which brings us back to the question: Does Trump know any or all of the above?

The answer is: It doesn’t matter.

It does not matter what Donald  Trump does or does not believe or know in this matter.

What he’s doing is agnotology. Agnotology is the intentional spread of ignorance. The study thereof. See? See how it all fits together nicely now?

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What is really going on is people – such as Donald Trump – make ungodly amounts of loot off fossil fuels.

This isn’t magic. It isn’t some abstract concept. These people have mailboxes. They live in houses. We know their names.

What is going on – in concrete terms, anyone can understand – is the sociopaths who run the world – such as Donald Trump – intentionally lie to you and me, using the plot of your average Dukes of Hazzard TV show to guide them.

And the kicker is… wait for it… you see that original tweet of Trump’s?

The one at the beginning of this article. It says, I dunno, “165K people are talking about this.”

The K is thousands, kids. The kicker is this:

Donald Trump will “Dance, monkey, dance!” for us on Twitter, which he uses for free.

We’ll get ENRAGED!!! at his monkey dance, and we’ll tweet the twit’s twat all over creation, I tell you!

It spreads everywhere. Viral. Like an STD. It’s simple propaganda. Sowing seeds of doubt.

“Global warming? Hell, it’s snowing you morons!!!”

See how easy it is to do?

And everyone who “corrected” Trump just helped him do it. For free.

So who is really the stupid one here?

He’s president and we’re not.

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part 2 How frigid polar vortex blasts are connected to global warming

3 thoughts on “The Case of the Staggering Moron: Meanwhile in Australia

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